1394 دي 4، 10:30
گزارششو دادم برای فیلتر ، نمیدونم چرا فیلتر نمیشه
40 روزم برباد رفت
چجوری میشه اینترنت داشته باشم و درست استفاده کنم؟
تمام سیف سرچ هام روشنه ، هیچ فیلتر شکنی ندارم.
Nariman........
نقل قول: یه پراکسی انلاین پیدا کردمداداش نریمان خیلی مواظب باش.
گزارششو دادم برای فیلتر ، نمیدونم چرا فیلتر نمیشه
40 روزم برباد رفت
چجوری میشه اینترنت داشته باشم و درست استفاده کنم؟
تمام سیف سرچ هام روشنه ، هیچ فیلتر شکنی ندارم.
نقل قول: لازمه یه نکته هم در باره استفاده از نت اضافه کنمهادی جان ترکوندیا.
اینترنت می تونه عامل گناه برای خیلیا باشه
ولی دلیل نمیشه که ازش دوری کنی
کافیه ازش درست استفاده کنی
* زمان و ساعت مشخصی براش بذار مثلا هر روز ساعت 4بعدازظهر
* مدت استفاده اش رو محدود کن مثلا روزی نیم ساعت
*کارهایی که قراره باهاش انجام بدی رو از قبل کاملا مشخص کن و اونا رو بنویس و بذار کنار دستت و حتی یه ذره هم از اون حدود خارج نشو
* سرچ های الکی و بی هدف و وبگردی های طولانی مدت رو تعطیل کن
اونوقت اینترنت بجای اینکه بشه عامل گناه می تونه یه نیروی کمک کننده هم برات باشه
امتحان کن-امتحانش مجانیه
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نقل قول: Heavenly Visitor
May 30, 2015 at 4:51 pm
hi,it has been 3 years since you have written this article. i hope u have not mastu.rbated during the period.
نقل قول: nofapsolideo
September 22, 2015 at 11:56 pm
Hi, thanks for the comment
That’s a good question – I actually have mast.urbated since I wrote this article. There was a period of a few months, around two years ago, where I slipped back into the old habits, and then there was one time over a year ago when I masturbated once. But since then it’s been over a year without any mas-turbation, po-rn, or se-xual fantasy (other than about my wife). So I’m still confident that what I’ve written here works (at least for me). I’d like to write another post describing the last few years, and what I see as the reasons for the relapses, but I’m not sure when I’ll get around to it – it’s taken me so long just to reply to comments like this! (sorry about that)
نقل قول: Glossary:
PMO – Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm. These three things usually go together. For me it was more often sexual fantasy with masturbation, although I did also PMO.
Fap – a colloquial term for ‘masturbate’.
Nofap – a subreddit where folks discuss giving up porn and masturbation. Also refers to the challenge itself, e.g. ‘Doing nofap can free up a lot of time’.
نقل قول: Summary: I finally overcame PMO addiction after 7 years of failure. It was really easy this time. The solution that worked for me was complete thought control, with a zero-arousal policy, and I enacted it over two stages. Everything explained in detail in the full post.
نقل قول: CONTENTS
Section A describes my background and the actual process I went through this time.
Section B describes in detail certain techniques and strategies that I think were crucial.
Section C explains why the two-stage process worked so well for me.
نقل قول: SECTION A – My Story
Introduction
Basically I wrote all this down on the off chance that someone else might be able to benefit from my experiences. I’m not sure if anyone will find it useful, because we’re all different, and we’re all at different stages on our nofap journeys, and have different starting points. But you never know, there might be something here that others can benefit from, or be encouraged by, in the same way that the nofap subreddit has encouraged me.
So, I’m a 31 year-old Christian male, and I’d been trying on and off to give up porn, sexual fantasy and masturbation for about 7 years (ever since I became a Christian), but to no avail. I could go a week or two if I tried really hard, and once I did a month, but it was an awful struggle, and that one month was the longest I ever managed. Usually I only lasted a few days. Most of the time I thought it must be impossible, and couldn’t even be bothered trying to give it up.
نقل قول: This time (over 70 days so far) I have had almost no struggles, and it has been really, really easy. If you’ve tried to give this stuff up and found it very hard, you’ll understand how surprised I was to find it so easy this time. I haven’t put a filter on my internet, I haven’t consciously avoided any places or people, I can sit at my computer late at night, I don’t have anyone keeping me accountable, I don’t have cold showers and I don’t exercise to burn off ‘sexual energy’. In fact, I don’t think that I have employed any of the recommended strategies at all.
نقل قول: I’m not going to go into detail about the benefits I’ve experienced as a result, as they’ve been well described elsewhere. Basically, I’ve got more confidence, feel better about myself, have a much clearer mind, and feel more in control of all aspects of my life (and I’d swear I have a deeper voice, but is that even possible?). The main benefit for me is that this struggle that I’ve been engaged in for the last eight years has finally been won. And it’s such a huge weight off my shoulders to not have to worry about this issue any more. Such a good feeling.
نقل قول: So why did this struggle become really easy all of a sudden? Well there were a few things that happened this time that were quite different to before. But before I detail the process and strategy, I’ll share my background with this issue. I don’t think I was a typical PMO user, so if my situation seems way too different to yours, I’m sorry – my solution might not work for you. But if someone is in a similar situation to mine, or able to get themselves to that place, then this process might work. Or perhaps you might just be able to take away a couple of principles or ideas that you can put to good use.
نقل قول: Background
I’ve been single most of my life, which I’m pretty happy with, although I am open to getting married in the next few years if I meet the right girl. I’m a virgin, too, and I think I’d like to stay that way unless and until I get married.
I’ve always had a great imagination, and as an introvert who didn’t have many friends as a kid, I spent most of my time at school day-dreaming – living in a fantasy world. Mix puberty into the equation, and the results are predictable.
Age 11 – Started regularly losing myself in sexual fantasy.
Age 19 – Started masturbating (very late, I know).
Age 23 – Started using internet porn.
Age 24 – Became a Christian.
Age 31 – Finally overcame addiction to masturbation, fantasy and porn.
نقل قول: So the last 8 years, between ages 23-31, have been characterised by pretty consistent, although perhaps moderate, PMO and sexual fantasy. I would masturbate once every day or two, but sometimes a couple of times a day. I was using internet porn maybe once or twice a week, although there were times when I would get into it quite heavily for a few days, and then there were months when I would go without altogether. When I wasn’t using porn, I’d normally masturbate to sexual fantasy – stuff that I thought up in my own mind. I’ve generally found that the scenarios I could think up were more interesting to me than the unimaginative stuff on the internet, but that might just be me. Nevertheless, I know that I was addicted to masturbation with fantasy or porn, because I could never give it up for long, even though I was trying on and off for about 7 years.
نقل قول: When I did try to quit I would usually just go "cold turkey", resolving to never masturbate again. When I did this, the first few days would be fine, but then I would struggle constantly, and I would feel like it was just getting tougher and tougher – I would feel like the pressure was getting worse and worse – until sooner or later, I would give in, and crash back into a binge of the most hardcore PMO and fantasy that I could think up. I would have a solid few days of indulgence before I would become so appalled that I would resolve to never do it again. Restart cold turkey process, but with the same results every time. Sometimes I would last a week or two, sometimes a month. But the result was always the same – a seemingly inevitable plunge back into acting out on things that I’d been secretly desiring the whole time I was abstaining. In hindsight, I think a major part of the problem was that while I’d tell myself, ‘I’m not going to masturbate’, my brain would seek every other avenue of sexual stimulation, like sexual fantasy, porn, and even edging (as if that’s not masturbation). I’d try to get as much as I could without actually orgasming as a result of masturbating, but of course this would leave me completely fired up, and my brain would constantly be dwelling on sex. I would be aroused 24/7. It’s no wonder I found it really hard to not go the whole way, and would usually relapse within a few days.
نقل قول: Eventually I concluded that quitting masturbation might even be impossible. And here’s where I want to give credit to the NoFap subreddit, because reading it was the first time I realised that it was actually physically and mentally possible to give up masturbation for over a month. Thinking that it was impossible obviously didn’t help me in my previous attempts. Interestingly, thinking that it was impossible was what made me start on Stage 1, so let’s start there.
نقل قول: Stage 1: Mastering the mind, letting the body go (easy mode)
In the two months prior to my current streak, I had decided that cold turkey was too hard, and resolved on a compromise. I realised that what I really wanted to get rid of was the porn and the weird fantasy that I was so into (I’m considering marriage, and I don’t want to have these weird fantasies and desires that my wife will never be able to satisfy. I really want to be satisfied with my wife.) So I resolved to get rid of the fantasy and the porn, but to keep masturbating, because at this stage I still thought it was impossible to go without physical release, and I didn’t want the pressure to ‘build up’ and make me really horny, which then usually led to the weird fantasy that seemed to come out stronger when I was more ‘on edge’.
نقل قول: So I committed to masturbating whenever the heck I wanted to, at even the slightest sexual thought or inclination (assuming I was at home, and not in public, that is). But the one condition of this masturbation free-for-all was that at the instant when I felt the inclination, and had decided to masturbate, I would absolutely stay away from porn, and I would fantasise only about plain-as-vanilla, PIV, nothing else sex. I would visualise a naked female body, but nobody I knew (I don’t want to take sex, even in my mind, from someone I know without permission – I feel it’s disrespectful – but maybe that’s just me). Nor would I fantasise about a movie star or a woman I had seen on the street for the same reasons. I would think, ‘I have no idea who’s wife that woman is, or who’s daughter she is. What right do I have to take her sexually, even in my imagination?’ So I would just imagine making love to an attractive but generic female body.
نقل قول: [A little bit of Christian theory here, I don’t actually think that the physical act of masturbation is sinful. Rather it’s the thoughts and fantasies that are the issue (Matt 5:28). A Christian mentor of mine asked me what my conscience told me after I masturbated to this image of a ‘generic female body’, and I realised that I never felt guilty or bad about it. So I don’t think it is a sin, otherwise I wouldn’t recommend this to others. There is, however, the valid question of whether masturbation is the ideal expression of human sexuality, given that it is not relational. Actually I don’t think it’s ideal, and so I recommend going on to Stage 2 when possible, but I don’t think masturbation is necessarily sinful or wrong, and think it can sometimes be a helpful aid to mental purity if used wisely.]